Being a people-pleaser is not always a bad thing. It can help you to make good choices, get good grades, play well with others, and obey the law. But, as it’s taken me too many years to learn, it isn’t possible to please everyone all of the time. Especially not if you plan on also making yourself happy. In the age of social media, we have more ways than ever before to try to please people. Not only can we try to get people to like us in person, but we can try to get reactions on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Vines, and Snapchat among other virtual places. We have more ways than ever before to quantify our likability and our self-worth. But, our worth is not dependent on anything numerical. Nor is it dependent on what anyone thinks of any of our personal identifiers or personal choices. As E.E. Cummings once said
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
Sometimes it’s hard to know what the goal of life is, what the real point is to trying so hard all the time. But it sure isn’t to get the most “likes” virtually or otherwise. I’ve learned, and sometimes I learn it over and over, that if you try to please everyone you end up being stressed all the time and there will inevitably be someone who isn’t happy with you. No matter how many good things you try to do, no matter how hard you work, no matter how skinny or pretty you are– there will always be someone that you can’t make happy. And that’s ok, because it’s not your fault. And even if it is, everyone makes mistakes and even if others can’t forgive you, you need to forgive yourself.
Some people may think that self love and self care are for hippies or that they aren’t important, but if you don’t love and care for yourself, you will always be dependent on others for validation. Fact of the matter is, part of “adulting” is realizing that you need to be able to validate yourself. You aren’t perfect, I’m not perfect, none of us are perfect. But if we spend our time beating ourselves up for reasons other people have to judge us or look down on us, we will never find true happiness.
I once read in the Ensign (a magazine my church produces) that we love people more as we serve them. Self care is a way to serve ourselves. So to inspire some love of self, forgiveness of self, and belief in self worth– here are a few of my favorite self-care products:
- For days that just don’t go right:
http://www.lushusa.com/shower/shower-gels/the-comforter/9999904311.html
2. For when you need to remember that “waiting by the phone” is not something that you as a strong, independent woman are going to do: 
http://www.lushusa.com/shower/shower-gels/wash-that-man-right-out-of-my-hair/9999904295.html
3. For when you need some color in your life:
http://www.lushusa.com/bath/bath-bombs/the-experimenter/05996.html
4. For when you want to feel “like a 1,000,000 bucks”:
5. For your skin could use a deep clean:
https://www.thebodyshop.com/en-us/body/body-scrub/fuji-green-tea-exfoliating-body-scrub/p/p000441#
6. For when you’re stressed out (and some aromatherapy could help):
7. For when you’d like to wear chocolate instead of eating it:
8. For when you need a little reminder that you are great:
https://www.zandrabeauty.com/vegan-body-wash/
9. For when your muscles HURT {looking at my endometriosis girls with this one 😉 }:
https://endosoak.myshopify.com/products/flare-bland-bath-soak
10. For when you want to smell the ocean ALL DAY LONG:
https://www.sephora.my/brands/mermaid-n-degrees-1
And that’s all, folks! Remember to take care of yourselves!
This Sonorous Life 